03-05-12 Finished Insulation!

There will be a slight pause in our story to tell you about today's adventure.  Suffice it to say, I have a new trailer, and this one was gutted to the studs.  I have been sitting in it for a week now, terrified to start, because I had no idea where to start.

I had a friend, Ron, come over.  He used to own a lumber yard and is a wood worker guy.  He and his wife stopped by yesterday.  He had a lot of good ideas.  Mostly on how to restore the trailer.  As he was speaking about stuff I know nothing about, I realized that I don't want to "restore" this old thing.  I don't need it to have its former glory.  I don't think I will keep it for more than 5 years.  I just want something functional and cute.

So I realized that I just have to be brave.  And start.

So I did.

And in one day, finished all the insulating.

The guy I bought this from had packed the trailer with all the materials I would need (almost) to finish the thing.  So I just used up the insulation boards that he had.  Then went to the store for some more when I ran out.  His was about a little more than a quarter inch thick, and I bought more that was 3/4 inch thick.  Worked even better!  The hard part is the curves.  The ceiling is already done.  I am left with fixing the side walls.  Which are straight, but the edge that touches the ceiling is curved.  See the pictures for what I mean.

So I had to figure out how to cut the curves.  I ended up just going outside the trailer and holding the board up, then eyeballing the curve with a sharpy.  Then cut it out.  Turns out I am REALLY good at that.  Yipee!

Next is going to be using duct tape to hold all the insulation boards between the studs.

And then the really hard part.  Insulation is easy, it is foam, so you can bend it.  The wall material is not going to bend that way.  I have tons of fiberboard called Masonite.  I will HAVE to make a template out of paper and then put that against the board and use a jig saw.

No way around that.  And I am scared.  I am not sure what of, maybe expending energy that doesn't accomplish what I want.  Energy is a precious commodity these days.....

Here are some pics:

This is the little 1957 Aljo.

Today's projects included:

1. Removing the stripped screw that I mangled putting in an L bracket to hold the wall to the bench seat as someone had removed all the hardware holding the wall to, well, anything.  And when you opened the door, the whole wall moved.

2.  Removing and replacing the screws that hold on the outside latch assembly.  Someone had put in screws that were too long, and would poke out of the wall once the wall was finished.  Stupid.  Luckily found some in my collection of odd screws and nails that I save from EVERYTHING.

3.  Here is what the walls originally looked like:

That is bare aluminum skin under the brown paper.  The paper is from 1957 and crumbly.

Here are the walls insulated!  I am not sure whether the silver side is supposed to out or in, and I wasn't consistent.  Don't care.  Will be covered up with walls soon, no one will know.  See the horrid curves?

4. Put in all the insulation.

5.  Bought a new toolbox and new hammer.  Cannot find old hammer.

6. Pulled out old rusty nails from studs that were no longer holding anything up.

7.  Attached the handle to the vent on roof with new screw.  Don't know why that wasn't done.

8.  Added strips of flexible wood to the corner to replace some rotted wood.  But again, only need it to last 5 years, it will be under a tarp for the rainy season, and only camped in for good weather.....

9.  Sat in it and dreamed of exciting camping trips.

10.  Bought a new camping chair.  A director's chair that folds.  The other folding chairs I have give you black and blue marks on your thighs after a weekend of sitting in them shivering in front of the fire.  Yay!  New chair!

Here are some more pics:

It's gonna be GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

03-02-12 Hunting for new trailer

So I have been bad about keeping up this blog.  I will attribute that to new drug mix and the fact that I have been working to tie up some loose law office ends.  Those are now tied down, and I should take the time to update here and attempt to write everyday. 

I shall attempt to catch you up!

So, we know that I sold my last trailer.  I then spiraled down quickly into a puddle of obsession to replace it.  I spent untold hours lurking on Craigslist trying to find the new one.  I even drove out to Longview to look at what I truly thought would be the next iteration, a tent trailer.  On the web it looked in perfect condition.  And it seemed to have a side that was larger and small, maybe twin sized, opposing bed.  It was at a dealership.

I called the number and found that the guy had just come back from Seattle and really wanted to go home.  But I asked a few questions, which he was happy to answer.  He did not know if the trailer lights worked.  But he would check.  He called me back in about 30 minutes.  Yes they worked!  He mentioned that he was surprised with the amount of phone calls he had, so he guessed he had put the wrong price on this unit.  This got me very excited.  He agreed that since I was the first to call, I would be first in line the next day to see it.  He called back another 30 minutes later, and I was unable to catch the phone fast enough, so it went to voicemail.  I had given him my cell phone. 

So now he knew I was a lawyer.  Not good.  This kind of ruins my ability to negotiate well.  People have preconceived ideas about us……but I joked with him when I called him right back, since he was a used car salesman, he really didn’t have much of a leg to stand on!  He laughed and we had a chat about life philosophies.  We seemed to have similar views about how happiness is up to each individual.  That it is a choice. 

I have a quote on my office wall by Abraham Lincoln: “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

I truly believe this.  That you can choose to see the big picture or focus on the minutia.  The big picture is usually much sunnier than that tiny patch of ground over there under the dead tree……

He was calling to let me know that since he was a dealership the final out the door price was going to be $1650.  This is much more than the $1200 he had it listed for.  He tries to tell me that these are the licensing fees.  In my mind I am wondering.  When I licensed the Fleetcraft it was about $50.  Hmmm.  But I really thought that that was still a decent price for a small tent trailer.

I don’t like to go to places I have found on Craigslist without backup, so I called up AnnaLisa and lo and behold she would go down there with me the next day!  So we arranged to meet and began our adventure.  I was so excited that I went on the internet that night and managed to find the original owners manual and download it, print it and bind it with tabs.  Woo Hoo!

Longview is 100 miles south of my house.  It was a fun trip down with my friend.  But as we pulled up to the dealership.  Yes, a used car dealership.  There was the trailer.  Kind of tilted in a bad way.  Looked like one of the beds had come off its rails.  And it was HUGE.  As we walked across a greasy, litter strewn parking lot surrounded by crap, towards the trailer it began to look worse and worse.  The canvas was torn in a number of places.  While it was clean inside, the outside was terrible, tape holding things together everywhere.  And it turned out the bed that looked like it might be off its rails was really only pushed in half way with the canvas draped funny. 

As I wander around this thing AnnaLisa steps to the back of the trailer and the whole thing tips.  He hadn’t put any levelers on the trailer.  Sigh.  This freaked her out and she went to sit in the grimy office.  At this point the guy comes out.  We shake hands and start to take a look in detail.  I am hugely disappointed, and completely intimidated by the thought of having to pack this thing up together and open it up all by myself.  I think it is more than I can handle.  Also the canvas is in such crappy shape.  Dealer guy tells me it is just fine and if I truly want to change it up, I can find a hungry seamstress who can fix it for a small price.  I happen to know that new canvas is $600 at the very least.  Which I tell him.  I am feeling worse and worse about this deal.

I give him the manual and tell him that I have to think about it, that I am going to take my friend to breakfast (did I tell you in order to be first in line to see it we had to be in Longview at 8 am?  This means I got up at 6 am, and picked up AnnaLisa around 7 am—crazy!). 

We got back in the truck and headed out for breakfast.   

We did not go back.

02-19-12 New Trailer!

Well, I tried to teach JR a lesson last weekend.  Just about the only thing we have ever really fought about, is my wonderful 1968 Fleetcraft trailer.  I have pictures of it here somewhere.  So I got mad and decided to end it once and for all.  I said that I would put it up for sale on the internet for a month, and if it didn’t sell, then he had to shut up about it. 

He agreed.

So the next morning I got up and came downstairs.  I opened up Craigslist and put up an ad.  I was completely honest.  I said how I had never had the water or the propane hooked up, the windows needed replacing, but that it had new tires and the roof didn’t leak.  (I may have neglected to tell them that the window leaked…….).  I went into his office to show him the ad on his computer.  And my phone rang.  Did I mention that I put a price tag on it of $2,000.  Since I had only paid $200 for it myself and put $150 worth of tires on it, I thought that was a crazy number.  I looked at JR and said, “If that is someone trying to buy my trailer you suck!”  It was.  It was the first of many calls, and many visitors who looked at the trailer.  In fact, the 3^rd couple who looked at it came after 6 pm when it was dark!  With a tarp on the roof. 

And they bought it!  For $1700!  I hadn’t even unpacked it yet.  I had cleaned it when the first couple came to look, but I did not expect to sell it at all!!!!

So I made a huge profit.  And now have all this money burning a hole in my pocket. 

I talked to a guy down in Longview WA that has a used car business.  He has my new trailer!  I just made arrangements to go down tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn and pick it up.  Barring any unforeseen huge problem with it…..

But it is a fabulous price ($1200) for a 20 year old pop up tent trailer in what looks to be pristine condition.  And has just the right amount of room.  One large bed, one small bed, no fridge or bathroom.  Perfect!  I like the camping experience, I don’t want to tote around my own hotel room.  So I am super excited!  And I will still have money left over, yipeeeee. 

Considering the old trailer was almost 50, this one is way newer.  And I am grudgingly not quite as sad about selling the old one.  That one was way cuter, had tons of personality and can never be replaced.  Mostly because it was my first foray into trailering and I really put a great deal of effort and time into the rehabbing of it.  

Did I mention I was excited?????

11-21-11 Changing Plans

So yesterday I went to youtube and looked at videos of people that had gone camping in Yellowstone.  

Yellowstone in July is crowded with humans, bears are at their most protective of their young, and it turns out Yellowstone is prairie.  Now why I didn't glom onto that fact while researching and looking at pictures of bison, is beyond me. 

I don't like prairies.

I don't like crowds.

AND I AM TERRIFIED OF BEARS.

There were videos of campers setting up their tent camps and then turning on their ipod bose powered heavy rock music.  What???  The don't seem to realize how far noise carries in the woods.  And they showed how close all their neighbors were.  Ick.

Did I mention there were bears?  

These idiots are having a grand old time with a bear attacking their car!  The bear just comes up to it, with no provocation (like a furiously barking dog) and pounds on the windows and mouths the outside mirrors.  And the family just sits there.  JUST SITS THERE LAUGHING.  Holy crap!  

I would have run over that bear so damn fast.  People, Bears Eat People.  I am a person.  I don't EVER want to meet another bear.  When I lived out in the woods on the Olympic Penninsula, I would occasionally see a bear from my kitchen window.  I always grabbed my rifle and waited to see if the bear would require action on my part.  

Now those were just little old black bears, and I was living in their woods.  I got that.  And they never really paid any attention to me.  Or came too close.

Yellowstone has Grizzly Bears.  Nope.  Not gonna go.

Need to rethink this plan.  

There are books by Ansel about Rainier and the Cascades.  Much closer, in rescuing distance if the trailer goes wonky, and I can take the dog easily.

AND NO GRIZZLY BEARS.

And not so many people.  And, most importantly of all, I love the topography here.  I love huge mountains, rushing water, Puget Sound and it is all safe to touch.

In Yellowstone, there may be volcanic crap, but you can't touch it.  They have poisonous water, boiling water, rattlesnakes, scorpions, hot earth, bears and huge animals that are scary to be so close to.  

I am staying closer to home.  I will adapt this adventure accordingly.  Perhaps learning about Emerson, Muir and reading Ansel's books on how to take pictures will develop into a great idea on its own.  And continue his work using his ideas out here..............something to think about.

11-15-11 Soggy

Sadly, I didn't realize that one of the windows in the trailer was open.  Since we last went camping months ago, it has had a ton of time to let the rain in.

I am very sad.

The bedding had to be all thrown out.  WAAAAAAHHHH.  I had the perfect sleeping set up.  I found this fabulous 5 inch thick memory foam on the side of the road and had put that on the mattress we had down in the basement from when JR's mom had come to visit (we did not put her in the basement, we were just keeping the extra mattress there!).  It was the softest, most wonderful nest ever.

And it is now in the back of the truck headed for the dump.  Covered in mold and soaked through.

Sigh.

It was a beautiful day here and I was fixing the spot on the front of the trailer where the metal had been twisted a bit from hitting the back of the truck that one time it fell off the hitch (before learning about locking it on!!).  And once that was done, I thought I would poodle around the inside and check it out, clean it up, get it ready for a winter sleep.  Luckily there was no moldy smell, and I was happily puttering away putting things away and reorganizing.  I had just poked my head out to talk to JR and tell him that I had finally made a decision about taking the truck and the trailer, that since I had the trailer and the truck and I loved the trailer, I was just going to take it and that was the end of that.  No buying or renting anything new.

As I was saying this and folding the extra set of sheets that Kate had used, I noticed that the mattress had a funny stain on it.  And bam!  I realized the entire bed was soaked.  I think the vent was not closed properly and the side window was completely open.  I checked the big back window, but that seemed just fine, all sealed and happy.

So now it is back to Craigslist to find new bedding.

Bummer...........but at least I made a decision about HOW to camp on the adventure.

11-14-11 Where do I fit?

So many things seem to be coming together for this little adventure!  As if all of my interests have been leading to this point.  It combines my love of researching (almost anything), my love of photography, camping and even my love of driving. 

I am pleased beyond belief to report that the book I found in the library by Ansel himself, contains a whole page of his instructions on how to get the best photographs in the two parks!  I don’t understand all of the instructions, but that is yet something else I can look up.

I had been reading a book called “The Happiness Project”, well, still am reading it, I tend to read 3 or 4 books at the same time.  It is a wonderful treatise on how to be happy, what it means and how to achieve it for yourself. 

I seem to have been struggling my entire life with how I fit into the fabric of American life.  I am not good at being a 9-5 worker.  I cannot force myself to do it.  It makes me so UN-happy.  My life as a pastry chef was the closest I have ever come to being completely happy with working for someone else full time.  I would wake up filled with excitement about what I would make that day.  But even as I say that I realize that one of the reasons that I loved it so much was that I had the bake shop all to myself.  It was in a resort hotel in New England.  I didn’t have set hours, and no one told me what to make.  There was total autonomy. 

I have never been truly driven by the almighty dollar.  Very un-American of me, I know.  I always wanted just enough.  Just enough to pay the bills and have enough to enjoy my “not working” time with my interests.  But that means that I have not really been very good at getting ahead.  I will not do better than my parents have. 

But maybe there is something about the autonomy of life that I must have.  I know that I am smart.  Always have been.  Learning is super easy for me, and I think very quickly.  Lately due to the chemo drugs I must take for the rest of my life, there have been cognitive disruptions.  And I believe that I may be slightly depressed by that.  I cannot remember things the way I used to.  It is really a “brain fog”.  Sometimes it is very hard to think, I lose words all the time now, and holding complex ideas in my head without notes is very very hard. 

Which is another reason this project is so good for me.  It feels like the first real thing that has held my interest and gotten me excited for the future.  Sadly, my autonomy has cost me my law practice I think.  Since I never had any staff, once I stopped taking new clients so I could catch up on the old ones (and given the cognitive disruptions, that was very overwhelming) the business seemed to die. 

Don’t tell anyone, but I don’t really miss it.  What I miss is the income, and the satisfaction of helping people.  But I don’t trust my brain anymore not to make mistakes that won’t be caught until years from now (since I do estate planning) and I won’t be able to fix them by then. 

That plays into my struggle of where do I fit.  Since I don’t think I can find an office job that can accommodate my changing health concerns, and I don’t fit the American work ethic, where DO I fit in?  Each day is so different with regard to side effects of the drug.  Some nights I cannot sleep at all, despite taking a sleeping pill.  The next day I am so tired I can barely move.  Some days I am just stuck in a cycle of fatigue that doesn’t seem to be tied to sleep at all, just a side effect.  Then there are the days filled with pain that I have to take dilaudid or morphine for.  And most days include dashes to the restroom.  What employer is going to be able to allow 15 minute bathroom breaks all day long?

I cannot remember what someone just told me, and time sometimes just slips away.  Today it is already 2:15 in the afternoon.  How did that happen?  What did I do with the day other than walk the dog?  I have no idea.  I took some chicken out of the freezer to make cordon bleu for dinner.

Then I wonder, why am I beating myself up for this?  I do have a part time job that pays my basic bills.  I am keeping house for my husband, being a good dog mommy, I cook daily (although we go out a fair amount too).  And on top of all that, I have leukemia. 

I am doing really well in my quest to be a better housekeeper, albeit that meant hiring a cleaning service once a month to do the deep cleaning.  But the daily chores of housekeeping are going remarkably well.  It turns out that a full on press of effort to put everything away or give it away or throw it away has a positive effect on the cleanliness of the house.  With all surfaces cleared off, it is much easier to see things that are not put away, and to then put them away.

And yet……………and yet……………….I do beat myself up.  I compare myself to my friends, who are remarkably successful in their law careers.  I compare myself to my parents at my age.  By my age, they had each seemed to be more financial stable. 

Ah the self critical eye that only having enough resources can afford. 

I am supremely humbled by my loving husband’s attitude.  He is always there to pick me up off the floor and pat my head and tell me that he loves taking care of me.  That I do contribute to the family.  That I matter.

Why can’t I hold that thought?  

11-11-11 Veteran's Day and Test Results

It looks like it might not be a good idea to bring the dog.  Sigh.

Both parks are quite adamant about restrictions.  Yellowstone allows dogs on 6 foot leashes, 100 feet from the roadway but that is it.  They are not allowed on the boardwalks.  I have been told that I am going to want to go on the boardwalks to see the geothermal aspects of the park.  Pets may not be left in vehicles, the only exception is if you are in sight of the car.  

Grand Tetons is worse.  Not allowed more than 6 feet from the roadway.  

They both warn how dogs are bait for bears.  

I am terrified of bears.

I shall have to ponder this some more.  

I talked to my friend Kate and she is on board with the trip!  If I cannot take my best friend (canine), I can at least go with my best friend (human).  She has been to Yellowstone before and was the source of the information about the boardwalks.  She also thinks it will be hard to find open campsites.  She might be correct.  But the parks are both surrounded by national forest.  So really, if we can't stay inside the parks, we should be able to find forest service roads we can pull over on and camp.  

So now back to the choice of vehicle.  Renting a minivan or SUV is way too expensive.  $1000 for two weeks.  Nope.  New plan.  What about a canopy for the truck?  The truck is in great shape, low miles and I just had new tires, new ball joints and a general fix it done.  But it turns out canopies are expensive too.  This needs more investigation.  If the dog is not coming, we don't need the extra room in the cab for him, and can probably pack all we need to tent camp in the back of the truck (this much I do know).  But am I brave enough to tent camp in bear country?  I am not sure about that answer.

Last night I was up most of the night, it is the 4th night out of 5 that I just could not sleep.  I get about an hour in and then wake ALL the way up.  This time I think part of it was knowing that JR was going to call me in the middle of the night to pick him up.  Totally my fault.  I had the car that day, he took my truck to work.  I wanted my truck.  So I put the leash on the dog and we walked 1.2 miles to his office, downhill the entire way.  With my wonderful dog pulling me the whole way.  My calves were burning by the end, I had been having to take such small mincing steps to keep my balance and try to not get pulled to the ground by a very excited dog.  I think that putting together a workout with him will be a good idea, so that I am in better shape when I get to Wyoming and can easily do some of the hiking necessary to take the Ansel shots.

I had the car because I had gone to the oncologist yesterday for my 3 month check up.  The cancer center is in Seattle, and it is much easier to park the car in the garage than my huge truck.

I checked in in the lab and waited for my name to be called.  The guy that drew my blood had done it before, he is a very nice guy, but has some medical problems of his own, he looks a little like Quasimodo, there are odd large lumps on his neck and back.  Poor fellow.  And for some reason he didn't like the look of the vein that always works.  I have the crappiest veins!  They roll away and then collapse if you actually hit them.  I have learned that as I sit down, I apologize for my crappy veins, tell them that to best get blood out of me, they should use a pediatric needle and a butterfly, and then I point to my one good vein.   He didn't like it.  Kept patting it trying to get it to raise up.  Now this vein is sitting right, and I mean RIGHT under the skin.  You can see it clearly.  It is on the outside of my right elbow in the fleshy area just below the joint.  It doesn't hurt too much if you need to poke around there.  

He still doesn't like it. 

He looks at my other arm.  The one with no visible veins.  Except for one on the inside of my forearm, in that really thin skinned area, the one that hurts like a MF if you poke around in it.  He decides that is the perfect spot.  I take a deep sigh.  I am usually pretty vocal about blood draws.  I know my veins really well at this point.  But for some reason, I decide to let him have his way.  He doesn't know it, but I will only allow one stick per vampire.  If he misses, I will ask for someone else.  

He hits on the first stick.  

And it HURTS.

But he got it. 

I go to lunch at the cafe on the 2nd floor and have some soup (not very good soup unfortunately, sometimes their food is great, but not yesterday).  And I get a glass of water and a cookie.  

My appointment is an hour after the blood draw, gives them time to process the blood for the CBC (complete blood count).  But the PCR (the one that detects the actual cancer cells) will not be back until next week.  It just takes longer I guess.

I go up to the 4th floor and check in.  I am called very quickly.  Unusual.  Hmmm, I think to myself, this could be good, I know that I have one of the first appointment of the day for Dr. Oehler.  I deliberately make that so.  I go back, they weigh me.  Sigh.  I lost a couple of pounds, but not much.  My blood pressure is 112 over 67, my pulse is a nice 70, and my temperature is my normal, 97.7.  

The nurse leaves and I sit and wait for the doctor.  And I wait, and I wait.  My appointment is for 1:30.  Sometime after 2 Dr. Oehler arrives.  And I forgive her immediately.  She is the best doctor on the planet.  We are about the same age, and she is so understanding and compassionate.  I instantly feel safe and better.  I am still having tummy problems and had almost just run to the bathroom.  Glad I waited.  

The results?  Perfect.  My WBC (white blood count) is a very normal 6.7.  And even my calcium has come up.  We were talking about that at the last appointment, she is concerned due to my age and the fact of the hysterectomy, we won't know when I really go through menopause without testing for it.  So I think that next time she ordered a bone scan, and depending on the result of that, will determine if we do hormone testing.  

We chat about her upcoming 50th birthday and where she and her girlfriend will go.  I thought we were done, but then she did a physical exam, all fine.  If the tummy issues don't go away after the antibiotic treatment is done, I should call her and she will prescribe something to um, help.  

I am done and go out to schedule the next visit in February.  Dr. Oehler will send me my PCR results in an email.  She is so approachable and easy to get a hold of.  We talked about my new PCP (primary care physician) and she said to be sure to give him her email address, so he could ask her questions if he needed to.  I think that would be great.  

Did I mention that Dr. O has told me to get a flu shot?  I have resisted them every year.  I am too afraid that the shot will GIVE me the flu.  But she assures me that they will be giving me an inactive vaccine.  Then she leaned over and said, "The chances of you getting the flu from this are minuscule, but I grant you that if anyone is going to get the flu from an inactive vaccine, it will be you."

I have to admit, having my most trusted medical expert tell me that it is not all in my head, that I really do get more sick than the average person..........well, it makes tears well up.  I struggle greatly with feelings of in adequacy.   For some reason I am always afraid that I am faking it, that any one else would be able to power through.  Luckily, I married the most amazing man.  And when I am feeling that way, he looks me directly in the eye and says "Horseshit!"  

I love him.

So what did we do for Veteran's day?  We took advantage of the free food offer at a local brew pub.  They had some new items on the menu and we realized that if I ordered the double cheeseburger, it was only a dollar more than the regular burger that I usually get (and eat only half of, JR usually finishes it for me).  So I ordered the double and asked for a piece of aluminum foil as well.  The second patty was for the dog, you saw that coming right?

Very happy dog.  

And a very proud army wife I am too.